Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Diabetes Just Plain Sucks!

I know, I know...we all know this. I suppose that since the time I became "born again" I have tried to stay very optimistic, although I am sure it hasn't always seemed that way...but internally, I have.

I guess I hit a lull yesterday. I am trying to get back on track exercising, but what is really the point?? I eat well all day and then attempt to exercise and my bloodsugar drops so low that I have to eat a hamburgers worth of calories just to get it back to a level where I can actually function. I am still playing with how exercise, food and everything else works in my body, but it is SO frustrating! I feel like I should know this since I have had diabetes for 17 years, but I have to keep reminding myself of that big 15 year break that I took...

For example: Yesterday I woke up at 40-something, had a low around 4ish and then for supper I was 178 and I ate and took no insulin for supper and then went to exercise: 52, then 42...AND I woke up low again this morning. I think I had about 3 juices (400 calories) , 8 glucose tabs (120 calories), 7 hard candies (140 calories) and a banana (100 calories) to equal a whopping 760 extra calories!! Ugh, now that is depressing.

I think my body is really finally adjusting to having really great blood sugars and so I need to adjust my basals to make sure I don't get all of these lows, but then I am afraid I will get the highs. And to me, the highs are worse! I absolutely love my CGMS, although it has really really brought out the perfectionist in me, as I kind of knew that it would. So when I see that blood sugar creaping up, I react to it, even when maybe I should just let it all stabilize on its own. I would rather have lows than highs, because well, we are aiming for a LOWER A1c, right?? (of course yesterday I didn't have my CGMS connected because my 6 days was up and well, I was delaying having to inject that ginormous needle into my stomach). If you give me numbers and goals, I just go crazy with them and try to make sure it happens, especially now that I can pretty much keep track of where my blood sugar is all day long.

I just became overwhelmed after we got back from the gym because it seems like I try so hard to do the right thing and it just doesn't work out. I know the low didn't help my attitude, but it was my first real "diabetes just plain sucks" funk. Goodness, it really really does. To have to monitor and track everything you eat all day long, as well as every bit of activity you do, as well as stress, the weather and the changes of the moon just for plain survival can become a pretty daunting task, if I do say so myself! It is overwhelming and not so fun. But you all know that one...

Also, as I told you earlier, I got my CareLink USB to download my info...well, I don't think the software works with Vista. Talk about disappointing!!! I tried to download it like 6 times AFTER I knew it wouldnt' work, haha! I thought it might eventually just feel sorry for me and decide it would work just for me. So far that hasn't worked, though...

Today I am back on the CGMS, and my blood sugar has gone from 52 this morning, to almost 300 and hopefully it is on its way back down now...however slowly as it may be traveling... I'll just have to make sure that I eat more before working out so I don't have to eat so much AFTER!

It is a work in progress, but isn't it always...


k2 said...

Suzanne -
Do you see a Diabetes Educator?
They can really help u with your eating, blood sugars, and workouts.
They won't judge you either!

~Suzanne~ said...

Hey Kelly,

Well, I actually USED to see a CDE, but the problem was that she constantly judged me and seemed to look down at me (I have blogged about it a few times in the past). She did a lot more harm than good in my opinion, so honestly, I am rather hesitant to work with a new one and might just work with my Doc to figure it all out.

Thanks for the suggestion, though!

k2 said...

Sorry to hear about your crappy former CDE, thank god u left her! CDE's are like shoes. You have to try them on for size, test them out, and make sure that they are a good fit for u.
Glad to hear that your working with your Doc.

Hang in there sister! It will get better!

Cara said...

Bless your heart! I have the same problem with exercising. I have pretty much quit cause I can't keep my blood sugar up. But my doctor says to reduce my basal rate about 2 hours before I start to exercise.
But it still sucks. Cause basically I am running my blood sugar up just to exercise. It seems like an oxymoron.
It's okay to hit a funk. I do it less and less since I started really taking care of myself about 3 years ago, but it is still frustrating at times.
And of course when our blood sugar is low, everything is worse. :)
I am headed back to my CDE in 2 weeks. I am going to try to work on some kind of meal plan cause I am really going to try to lose about 25 pounds.

~Suzanne~ said...

Kelly: Thanks!! I know I do need to see another CDE at some point, I just don't know where to go to see one. I will have to just look around. I know it would probably help me tremendously and keep me on track! I guess it is time to try a new shoe...I'll make sure they are diabetes friendly, but also very chic =:~)

Cara: that is what I did today...I was 277 when I ate and didn't take for supper again and after exercising I am 133...but I felt crappy the whole time I was exercising from my high blood sugar. That CANNOT be healthy! I know I will figure it out...eventually.

So, just a general question to all: What things do you talk to your CDE about??

Windy said...

Can you ummm maybe move to Florida into one of the like 5 houses that are for sale on my street? Seriously.... we could be workout, CGMS, Diabetic buddies. lol! I totally understand and "get" what you're feeling.

~Suzanne~ said...

Windy: Umm, Yes please!! I have family in Florida. My mom is from there so her family is still there: Sarasota, Naples, Miami. It'd be like coming home! =:~)

Donna said...

You are so right - it is always a work in progress. Hopefully, this lull will be over soon & you'll be feeling better. Hang in there. :)

Cara said...

My CDE and I talk more in depth about my insulin levels, basal rates, blood sugars, etc. than I do with my doctor. And she and the nutritionist in the office with her often meet with me together to talk about food and how I am eating. In some ways they are easier to talk to than my doctor (who is always late and always rushed).

Katie I. said...

Hey Suzanne,
I totally know what you mean about exercising!! I go low EVERY SINGLE TIME I run at the gym and then I have to eat. I finally started just timing my workouts so that they happen before dinner, because I figure I'm going to eat anyway... My endo got mad at me for having so many lows with exercise, and she wanted me to do a temp basal. But I found that to be really difficult because of the lag time of my insulin--I would either be high later on or the temp basal wouldn't make enough of a difference. Ugh! I seriously don't know any T1 runner who doesn't consume carbs during or after a run of 30 minutes or more.
Regarding your Carelink-- I had the same problem with Vista! I called the people at Medtronic and they walked me through how to turn off a security setting so that Carelink works on it. It might be worth it to give them a call-- I think they get this question all the time.
good luck!!