Thursday, July 16, 2009

Somehow, I've Made It!!

My meter must be broken ... because I haven't had a blood sugar in the 200s since Saturday! How is that even possible? I mean, I've heard of this happening to other people, but to me?? The girl who didn't check her blood sugar for years at a time, who ate what and when she wanted and didn't bother ever bolusing for it, whose pump was so "off" because changes were made to basal settings randomly and without reason that there could possibly be no way to start fresh and get it right... the girl who thought she'd never make it to her wedding day because her body would never hold out that long...

I know this has only been for the past several days, but I look back at how far I've come and just can't believe it. I did it. I did it. It wasn't easy, and it never will be, but somehow after every set back and frustrating day and after all the time I just wanted to give up again, because not worrying about it was easier than being consumed by this disease, I did it. I made it.

I am at the point of no return. I know now that I can't turn back, I don't want to, I won't allow it to happen. I've made it to the finish line and for the rest of my life I will fight to have my blood sugar under as good control as I can. Now I know that I will have highs, and lows, and everything in between, and my spirit will fade and I'll get discouraged and frustrated... but I won't let myself give up again. I am past that point. I will trip and stumble and will likely fall, but I won't stay down. I know now that I will get back up and fight again.

I just hope that everyone out there who has given up on themself and their life will know that you can do anything you put your mind to. The power doesn't lie in some book, or some class, or in some other person, be it family members, friends or professionals.

You are the only person who can change your life. I know, because I did :~)