Thursday, July 16, 2009

Somehow, I've Made It!!

My meter must be broken ... because I haven't had a blood sugar in the 200s since Saturday! How is that even possible? I mean, I've heard of this happening to other people, but to me?? The girl who didn't check her blood sugar for years at a time, who ate what and when she wanted and didn't bother ever bolusing for it, whose pump was so "off" because changes were made to basal settings randomly and without reason that there could possibly be no way to start fresh and get it right... the girl who thought she'd never make it to her wedding day because her body would never hold out that long...

I know this has only been for the past several days, but I look back at how far I've come and just can't believe it. I did it. I did it. It wasn't easy, and it never will be, but somehow after every set back and frustrating day and after all the time I just wanted to give up again, because not worrying about it was easier than being consumed by this disease, I did it. I made it.

I am at the point of no return. I know now that I can't turn back, I don't want to, I won't allow it to happen. I've made it to the finish line and for the rest of my life I will fight to have my blood sugar under as good control as I can. Now I know that I will have highs, and lows, and everything in between, and my spirit will fade and I'll get discouraged and frustrated... but I won't let myself give up again. I am past that point. I will trip and stumble and will likely fall, but I won't stay down. I know now that I will get back up and fight again.

I just hope that everyone out there who has given up on themself and their life will know that you can do anything you put your mind to. The power doesn't lie in some book, or some class, or in some other person, be it family members, friends or professionals.

You are the only person who can change your life. I know, because I did :~)


Araby62 (a.k.a. Kathy) said...

Way cool, Suzanne! I love it when one of those 'good number' runs kicks in ;-) Enjoy!

~Suzanne~ said...

Thank you Kathy! I am pretty sure this is my first one in my 18 years of having diabetes!! I really never believed it was really possible when other people would talk about it... but it absolutely is!

Karen said...

That is so AWESOME!!!! You are doing a magnificent job. Keep up the good work. And when a 200 creeps in (because they always do), don't let it discourage you. Remember, now that you've done this, you know you can do it again!

Karen said...

PS: my word verification was "meter". I think that's a good sign!!

Laura said...

Yay Suzanne! I'm so, so happy for you. For how far you've come and for everyone you inspire and touch. Remember this blog and come back to it when you need it :) I have to say I'm a bit jealous... no numbers over 200 for almost a week??? Wow.

Anonymous said...

Good for you! I haven't checked in to your blog in awhile and I was so happy to see this post. It comes at a time when I need encouragement that I can do it. I did the opposite of you..dx age 16 and was absolutely "perfect" (ONE A1C 7.3 in all those years, ALL others under 7!!!) until age 32...going on 40 and the last 8 years have been awful. My last A1C was 10.3. I am ashamed of myself. I am a nurse and also have a daughter now age 10, dx at age 4. Instead of being "almost perfect" as an example I am horrible which makes me ashamed of myself on a DAILY basis. I am trying for the umpteenth time to turn things around. I will keep trying and I WILL DO IT. I swear I will. Reading your post tonight truly helped me.
Thank you and keep on doing it!
Patti Hill
Livonia, Michigan

Colleen said...

Hurray for you! I'm impressed.

~Suzanne~ said...

Karen - Thank you! I know this won't would be impossible, but anything you can do once, you can certainly do twice! And meter, huh... how the heck did it know! :)

Laura - You are right, I will have to remember this when things get tough! A little reminder that all things are possible with a little work!

Patti - Wow, you just about brought tears to my eyes! I don't believe in perfection because it does not exist and will only lead to guilt and frustration; instead, I believe in rolling with the punches and forgiving myself for my imperfections. It saddens me so much to hear you say that you are ashamed of yourself...mainly, because I know how that feels, but can't imagine what it's like to have your child watching you. The best thing you can do is to show her that she can live an amazing, healthy life regardless of whether she has diabetes, and I have a feeling that you do that without even realizing it. We will make it together, one step at a time; it's amazing how fast those little steps turn into miles and miles... :)

Colleen - Thank you! Is it bad to say that I am kind of impressed, too!! It's a day I never thought possible :)

Thank YOU all for inspiring me to get to this place... I couldn't have done this alone!

Scott K. Johnson said...

Way to go! You give so many the hope that may get them going too!