Well, today I have my second CDE appointment after getting my new pump. As many of you know, at my dietician's appointment, things got kind of emotional for me. Let me be very straightforward and admit that I am very sensitive. I think this makes me a great friend and someone that people feel they can talk to and trust...but some people (mostly my Mom) say I overreact to things. I actually think I hold a lot back and am pretty strong, so I guess I should just say that I have been accused of being sensitive.
That being said, I don't think I overreacted to my CDE at my dietician appointment. I felt extremely attacked and she was not listening to me at all. So I am nervous about today. The problem is that now I am already prepared to be very defensive. I am trying to come up with excuses for things that should not require excuses. "My blood sugar is high that day because we had a crawfish boil and it was kind of hard to count carbs" ...I am a normal South Louisianian and I will NOT stay away from crawfish! I have an explanation for just about every high written down right there on my log, but like last time, I am afraid she is going to want to make changes to my basal rates without paying any attention to what I have written down.
I will admit, this weekend I was not on my A game. I barely checked and took insulin at random. There was no intent to deliberately raise by b/s, I was just lazy. It was the first time in a very long time that I did it, and it was partly due to the fact that we had our in-laws in town staying with us and I was busy as heck :) ...and I didn't want to be bothered with diabetes. So I wasn't. It all started when I forgot my darned meter at home on Thursday...
I am back on track today and my blood sugars have been great. I am just afraid she is going to completely focus on the two days that I didn't do well and disregard the two weeks that I did wonderfully. Checking at a very minimum 4 to 5 times per day...usually around 8-10 times was unheard of 7 months ago. I am determined not to be too hard on myself because then I would never get back on track and just give up...I let it go and I am back where I need to be. I just hope she does the same...
Ugh, my blood sugar is going to go up just stressing about it. After my last appointment it was over 300 when I got home!! If it doesn't go well, I am just going to be very straightforward with her and request someone else. If I am not being helped by her, then what is the point in me PAYING for these appointments...
Hopefully I am worrying about nothing, but I will certainly let you know!
2 weeks ago
3 comments:
Suzanne - I hope your appointment went well. I am very sensitive, also. I just let things get to me. I know I shouldn't - but I do. You understand.
It really sounds like you're doing well despite a weekend that wasn't perfect. My weekends are usually more difficult because I'm out of my routine. Then things settle back down during the week.
Hope everything is okay now & your appointment was a success. Let us know how it went. Have a good evening. :)
Good luck, Suzanne. I look forward to reading about how things went.
I understand feeling attacked at some appointments. I think that it is easy for someone to look at papers and tell you what you are doing wrong if they aren't diabetic.
But sometimes it is my fault. And sometimes I do need changes. I had a CDE appointment yesterday and even though my blood sugars have been running high of late, I convinced her not to make any changes right now. I think that I need to deal with my stress first and then things will go back to normal. Hopefully.
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