Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Step by Step

I just wanted to give an update on how things were going. I am taking things slow so as not to put too much pressure on myself. I feel like "doing well" is like a fad diet. You get all crazy and into it and then inevitably can't keep it up and give up. That is the cycle I seem to follow. The goal is to increase those gung ho days and decrease the sloppy ones.

I am checking my blood sugar more, which of course ALWAYS helps me to stay on track, but I am not going crazy with it. I check when I get up, for lunch, maybe one additional time in the afternoon, then for supper and bed. I suppose all in all, that is pretty good. The problem, I think, at least one of the many problems ;) is that I have a pretty obsessive personality. When I do well, I go CRAZY about it. I check like every two hours and eat only "good" foods and when my blood sugar is not what it "should" be based on what I have done, I get frustrated and angry. I take it too far...

That is why I am just taking it slow. Eating ok, making sure my blood sugars aren't completely out of whack, but not obsessing about it and trying to maintain my sanity about it. It is actually working. My blood sugars have been pretty great and I have remained calm!

One of the other many problems is that I am somewhat of a control freak, as well. An obsessive control freak... great! So when I do everything right and the numbers are still wrong, it is so easy to just say to heck with it all. I can't do it. I give up.

But I can't give up forever, so I need to just figure out what works best for me. I have to train myself to let the "bad ones" go and move on and I think I am getting better about it. It is impossible to maintain good control at every moment, so I have to stop thinking about it at every moment. I need to worry about it when I check, cover what I eat, and go on with my day. I CANNOT obsess about it. I've gotta learn to let it go.

I'm working on it. Step by step...

P.S. ~ Patti, and everyone else, thank you!! I'd be lying if I didn't say that you all keep ME going... knowing you are there is more powerful than you could ever know.


Araby62 (a.k.a. Kathy) said...

Small moves are the best. Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

1 step at a time is all WE can do. Good luck and many blessings!

Andrea B.

Chris said...

I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but you could have been writing about me! I am famous for the all or nothing approach. I do really well and then the first "bad" reading I get I lose motivation and stop checking all together.