I'd say I'm cured, but then there's that 260 this morning...

Yesterday was a weird and crazy day...in more ways than one. Soo...Brad and I bought a new car. Wow. Never in my life did I ever think we would be the owners of a brand new vehicle. But we are. We got a great deal. A steal, really. We got a 2008 Mazda Tribute. Just the basics, no fluff...but I have so much fluff in my diabetes life right now, simple is just perfect! Brad's car was about to fall apart...and I am pretty sure I mean that literally. So, car shopping we went and landed this deal.

Well, in all of the chaos of the day, that included negotiating with dealers, discussions with my husband, and the plain fear of entering into another huge financial commitment, I forgot to change my insulin cartridge before leaving the house and it ran out at about 12:30. Well, luckily I had my back up insulin pen in my desk and took what I needed for lunch, but that was it. I had no basals at all. I was worried. I just knew I was going to be high for the rest of the afternoon, which also meant grumpy.

Well, around 4ish, I started feeling jittery. I thought that I could be low, but instead of checking my blood sugar I just took a few sips of some real coke and passed it off as nerves. I should have been checking anyway since I needed to keep a close eye on my numbers to make sure they didn't go high, but well, I didn't.

So I headed home to take care of some things at 4:30. Well...my husband called as I turned into our carport and said to meet him at the dealership (which by the way, is what I wanted to do initially anyway and I was furious that I now had to drive back through 5 o'clock traffic to meet him after he convinced ME it was best to go home...) So in my fit of anger I just turned right around...forgetting all about my insulin.

I could only imagine what stress, anger, and having absolutely no insulin in my system was doing to my blood sugar, but I decided to just go on with the plan and go to the dealership to at least look at the Tribute. We liked it, we wanted it, we sat down to talk. And talk we did...forever!

I started getting jittery again at about 7:30. I knew I just had to check to see where I stood, terrified I would see a ginormous number on the little screen. 64. What?!?! I checked again. 62. I mean, I know I hadn't eaten, but I am getting NO basals, and already had some coke. I had no insulin since 12:30. And the stress alone should have spiked it. I drank an entire Dr. Pepper and was 140. Now I was really scared about it spiking with nothing to bring it down.

Got home at around 9 with our new black beauty, and ate a sandwich without taking any insulin. At 10 pm it was 174. That is when I finally changed my insulin cartridge. I swore I was cured. I just knew it. I had to be!! I went to bed happy...although dreams about getting an extra $200 off the car kept me restless. Oh joy!

At 5 am I woke up sweaty and my mind was racing...I needed sugar, and fast. I had honey next to my bed and took a few big gulps (ugh, so gross!). My husband woke up and asked me to check my blood sugar (such a great guy!!). It was 44. After all of that and it was still 44. Maybe my body was just so happy to be cured it was producing insulin overtime! That is nice, but it needed to stop. Brad got me some juice and I finally settled down.

Well, at 9 it was 260. I am not cured. But I am happy to have a new vehicle and to be back on my sensor. Good enough for now! Why do I feel like this is double deja vu? I think I may have been cured before =:~)

And I'll elaborate further on the link between a new car and a cure that I came up during my 5 a.m. low next time...oh how the sleepy hypoglycemic mind rambles.

Diabetes Just Plain Sucks!

I know, I know...we all know this. I suppose that since the time I became "born again" I have tried to stay very optimistic, although I am sure it hasn't always seemed that way...but internally, I have.

I guess I hit a lull yesterday. I am trying to get back on track exercising, but what is really the point?? I eat well all day and then attempt to exercise and my bloodsugar drops so low that I have to eat a hamburgers worth of calories just to get it back to a level where I can actually function. I am still playing with how exercise, food and everything else works in my body, but it is SO frustrating! I feel like I should know this since I have had diabetes for 17 years, but I have to keep reminding myself of that big 15 year break that I took...

For example: Yesterday I woke up at 40-something, had a low around 4ish and then for supper I was 178 and I ate and took no insulin for supper and then went to exercise: 52, then 42...AND I woke up low again this morning. I think I had about 3 juices (400 calories) , 8 glucose tabs (120 calories), 7 hard candies (140 calories) and a banana (100 calories) to equal a whopping 760 extra calories!! Ugh, now that is depressing.

I think my body is really finally adjusting to having really great blood sugars and so I need to adjust my basals to make sure I don't get all of these lows, but then I am afraid I will get the highs. And to me, the highs are worse! I absolutely love my CGMS, although it has really really brought out the perfectionist in me, as I kind of knew that it would. So when I see that blood sugar creaping up, I react to it, even when maybe I should just let it all stabilize on its own. I would rather have lows than highs, because well, we are aiming for a LOWER A1c, right?? (of course yesterday I didn't have my CGMS connected because my 6 days was up and well, I was delaying having to inject that ginormous needle into my stomach). If you give me numbers and goals, I just go crazy with them and try to make sure it happens, especially now that I can pretty much keep track of where my blood sugar is all day long.

I just became overwhelmed after we got back from the gym because it seems like I try so hard to do the right thing and it just doesn't work out. I know the low didn't help my attitude, but it was my first real "diabetes just plain sucks" funk. Goodness, it really really does. To have to monitor and track everything you eat all day long, as well as every bit of activity you do, as well as stress, the weather and the changes of the moon just for plain survival can become a pretty daunting task, if I do say so myself! It is overwhelming and not so fun. But you all know that one...

Also, as I told you earlier, I got my CareLink USB to download my info...well, I don't think the software works with Vista. Talk about disappointing!!! I tried to download it like 6 times AFTER I knew it wouldnt' work, haha! I thought it might eventually just feel sorry for me and decide it would work just for me. So far that hasn't worked, though...

Today I am back on the CGMS, and my blood sugar has gone from 52 this morning, to almost 300 and hopefully it is on its way back down now...however slowly as it may be traveling... I'll just have to make sure that I eat more before working out so I don't have to eat so much AFTER!

It is a work in progress, but isn't it always...