Week 29: What an Amazing Journey It's Been

I can't believe I am here typing that I am in my 29th week of pregnancy. It really still all feels so surreal to me. I feel like I know it is happening, but that I am somehow just watching it happen from a distance or to someone else. It's just incredible :)

I feel her not so gentle kicks and nudges constantly these days and my belly often takes it upon itself to begin moving like a bowl of jello, and I can do nothing but laugh! It's crazy and had no clue that would happen! We are still steadily working on her room, which is at this point easily the nicest in our humble home, but heck, she does deserve the best! It's fun to hang out in her room and think about how before we know it, it really will be HER room.

I am still completely obsessed with registries and continuously try to figure out what I need to prepare myself for our precious girl, but so far, the lists of items have not yet sent me any magic answers. I feel like I am trying to find Waldo among all of the swings and strollers and carseats and bedding and bottles and blankets and bibs. He's definitely gotten pretty darn good at this hiding thing...

On the diabetes front, I am feeling better about resistance this week. It's still there, and it still confuses me, and mostly it still scares me, but it hasn't been quite as bad as it was before. The long list of appointments continues and I saw my endocrinologist this past Monday. My A1C only went up .1 to 5.3; however, I am quite skeptical about this whole accuracy thing because I know that my numbers were not nearly consistent with what they were before. My meter average has gone up from 100 to 120, so I know I am not totally delusional. Kerri over at Six Until Me seems to be having the same doubts... but all I can do is trust all is well.

I also saw my ob last Friday. I think my blood pressure is starting to creep up and I am definitely swelling more, and I had 3+ protein in my urine when they checked... so I was off to do another 24 hour urine. My ob did mention that I probably shouldn't worry and that she honestly expected me to have had protein show up before now, since well, I've always had some protein due to my diabetes. So, when the person called with my results she said the doc said all was well, but I asked her what my protein was so I could pass this info on to my endo and she said 990, but that my ob had said it was stable so it was fine. Last 24 hour in early December showed I had 550, which doesn't seem stable to me! I discussed this with my endo when I went and he said that as long as it isn't around 3000 they probably won't be concerned. But, I can't help but be a tad concerned...

I check my blood pressure at home and it usually doesn't get higher than around 130ish/82ish, with some occasionally a tad higher, but most closer to 125/80. I know pre-eclampsia is more common in people with diabetes and I am honestly thinking about it 24/7, I can't help it. I am not stressed about it necessarily, but I am constantly on the look out for signs. I mean, swelling, I am swelling, but how much is too much? And, sure, I get headaches, but they aren't unbearable... I have a total battle going on with whether what I am going through is normal in someone who is pregnant or if I should be alarmed... Thankfully, the doc appointments will be picking up again soon and so I will no longer have to solely rely on my own judgement on these things... whew!

We get to see our baby girl tomorrow for an u/s, as well, and that always puts me at ease a bit. And don't worry, I've got a long list of questions for the maternal fetal specialist :) Seriously, every single day is an amazing blessing to me and I am just praying those days keep adding up to more weeks for baby girl to get stronger!

Third Trimester: Nesting is in FULL Force!!

I am so sorry I have been a stranger!! I think I have just become so occupied with just making sure things run smoothly, I haven't taken the time to write about it, since diabetes and doing well is always on my mind... I still look down at this very large belly and question whether it's all real. It is, I know it is, but I was so scared for so long that I would never get to where I am today it's hard to believe. I know I am so blessed and so grateful and just so happy. I cannot wait to meet this precious baby girl!!!

Resistance started hitting hard around week 22... I rarely saw any numbers under 100, although many were close and it was extremely frustrating. I think I've hammered all that out now but it was very difficult at the time. I know it will become hard again, but today is good and I am thankful for that. Regardless, it's all so worth it. I have a strange feeling that this won't be the last time I worry about my baby girl 24 hours a day ;)

I am also in absolute full nesting mode, haha!! I find myself continually trying to nest, but realize that I have nothing left to do until we get closer... Her furniture is all in her room and today we started putting together a closet organizer to add some more storage space. When I can't "nest" around the house, I find myself totally obsessed with my registries for her! I am constantly looking at them to see if I've thought of everything I might need. Suggestions from any Mommies out there on what I NEED, what is nice to have, and those things I should just forget are completely welcome!! This whole 'not knowing what the heck I am doing' is pretty hard!! I keep reading books and trying to be prepared, but they are talking about things I have no experience with and I know it won't make sense until she is here, and that's just how it is supposed to be :) Thankfully, I've been totally obsessed with babies and kids since I was one myself, so I have lots of babysitting experience and experience with newborns, but I know it will not be close to the same... I am just ready to move on to that next chapter!

I am now 28 weeks along and probably have at most 10 weeks to go, and hoping and praying that I make it close to that. So far everything is great, but I know things can change in an instant and I am trying my best to be prepared. But, all in all things are wonderful. I love her little tap dances in my belly and just grin ear to ear when I feel her moving around. It will never get old. I am just so in love with this baby girl and am anxiously awaiting the day I can hold her in my arms!!

Maybe my cell just felt neglected??

Ahhhh, finally!! After our two week extremely competitive phone tag run, my endo and I finally got it together and I now have my results... I think maybe my cell noticed that "other contraption" that was always attached to me and that I rarley forgot, or left behind, but since I decided to hold my cell firmly on my hip opposite that little square beeping thing, it decided to cooperate and let the doc on through to me... I mean, really, I was about to give up all hope of actually hearing from my endo until I had my next appointment in two weeks anyway, but I really was about to lose my mind playing the waiting game!

So, A1c, still good at 5.3. I know, those numbers still don't make complete sense to me... I mean, I don't know that it can really be possible, but my endo says it is and he's in charge... as far as my test results go, anyway. He again teased me and said it was great, as long as my fingers are holding out okay ;) I never knew endocrinologists could be funny... and nice, even!!! I can definitely get used to this 'no fussing' thing...

Protein is still there... it has slowly increased over the course of my pregnancy and is now at 211 (not sure which measurement this is, but it started at 53 pre-preg, then 163, then 200 last month... I think it's creatine?... I know I should know this, but Mr. Google isn't my friend anyway...). He doesn't seem concerned and we are just keeping an eye on it. I am doing my second tri 24 hour urine now so hopefully that will also come out as stable...

And tah dah, welcome new diagnosis!! My thyroid levels are now at 2.07, which means I need to go on a very low dose of thyroid medication for hypothyroidism or hashimotos. They have also slowly increased (or decreased as thyroid production goes) so we are going to keep a close eye on this as well and I will talk to my ob/gyn this Friday on what this means for Baby Bou and me...

But, overall things are still good, just more things to watch closely. As long as Baby Bou is in there safe and sound, I'm fine... for the most part. Well, okay, I'm nervous lately... maybe even a little freaked out and hypersensitive to things. Here's what happened:

My mom called me on my way to work on Monday after I had a bad case of pregnancy brain and forgot to pick up my 24 hr urine test oh, let me see... three times. Which means I now have to do this during the week instead of comfortably during the weekend, but I'll do whatever it takes... Anyway, Mom apparently thought Mr. Google was HER friend and called me in a bit of a panic when she found preeclampsia out there in cyber space. Now, I haven't hidden any information from her and have told her some common risks associated with diabetes and pregnancy, so I don't know how her search started or why exactly, but she informed me that preeclampsia can start after 20 weeks and is "very serious" (right, because I didn't already know this and somehow needed to be reminded... and maybe even that little thin string I've been grasping to keep me from falling into worried hysterics might need to be snapped... ) So... needless to say I temporarilty thought Mr. Google might be MY friend, too, which only led to me freaking out a bit and worrying like crazy and since then, I have been getting a little more stressed about things, but I'm doing my absolute best to keep my worry wart in check, hard as it may be.

So yea, overall, I am doing well... and Baby Bou says she is, too... as evidenced by her little tip taps as I type this :) I'll keep you updated on any new developments, but I am hopeful that there won't be any!

22 weeks and Counting!!

Gosh, where has the time gone!?! I feel like it was just yesterday that we found out we are having a precious girl and here it is almost a whole month later! Here are some updates on what has been going on in our growing home:

For the past 5 weeks, I have had a doctor's appointment (or two) every week. Crazy, I know, but it keeps me on track and it keeps me calm, just to know that all is as it should be! One of these included my opthalmologist to check my eyes. In 2002 I had laser surgery for retinopathy, so seeing the eye doctor is always a little scary, especially now that I am pregnant, since pregnancy can cause retinopathy to get worse... but, all was the same as it has been for the past 8 years! I am honestly shocked and almost don't believe the doc when she tells me this each time. I mean, how could that be?! I thought I was going blind when I found out about my retinopathy and even after the laser surgery I wasn't in ideal control... I mean, not even until just this past year has my A1C been under 7... for the first time in my life as a diabetic. All I can say for this is it is never too late... and well, God sure is darn good!!!

Another of these appointments was my endo... who I have now been successfully playing phone tag with for 2 weeks. So, needless to say I don't know what my new A1C is or whether the always present protein in my urine is remaining stable, but if it was bad, he'd make sure to get in touch with me, right?! I'll be seeing him again in 2 weeks anyway, but I am hoping I don't have to wait that long. Cell phone is officially attached to my hip, opposite my pump :)

Then, last week was the maternal-fetal specialist and we had another ultrasound. Good news all around!! She's doing great! Her heart looks wonderful, so do her kidneys and her brain and she is measuring in at around the 40th percentile... which is smaller than average, but we weren't expecting any miracles, since I am 5'2 and her Daddy is around 5'9 (or something like that ;)). It was great to see her again and her Mimsie (my Mom) was able to join us for our little preview! She yawned twice and was busy sucking her little hand almost the entire time... goodness I am in love with that little girl!!

In other news, we painted her room this weekend and picked out some fabric for her bedding, curtains, etc.!! We are just going neutral with paint colors, because we will eventually want to sell the house and don't want to make it to "personalized"... and well, the neutral will look nice. It is called Toasted Almond ;) I'll have to take a picture of the fabric swatches we got. They are basically a deeper pink, brown and green. We also picked up her crib... although it is still in the box until the room is finished being painted.

I can't believe I am putting together a nursery!!! She has also started to kick a lot more, which is such a relief!! I was getting quite impatient! I think it was around the day after Thanksgiving when she started moving around more and she hasn't stopped yet... although on days where I am very busy (like this weekend) I don't feel her quite as much as I do when sitting in my office at work...

So, that's my update! All is well in the Baby Bou household... we are 22 weeks, so officially over the halfway mark and expect to have her around the beginning of April, if all continues to go well!

I hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas season... I can't wait for Santa next year!!!!

Preparing Our 'Nest'

Things have been going really well. Ever since we've found out we are having a girl, it's been fun to say "she" and know that we will be seeing lots of pink... and probably our fair share of drama in our future ;) We could not be more excited to meet her...although, I still have a pretty long time! I am now in my fifth month (crazy, I know!) and am just about halfway there... which seems like a long time to me!

Brad and I have been trying very hard to start organizing our home in preparation for our new addition and so that is definitely keeping us busy. This whole "nesting" thing is definitely real!!! I've enjoyed cooking more, although I have always enjoyed it, and I am actually getting pretty good about throwing out or donating things that I no longer need... that in itself is pretty remarkable!!

It's actually pretty fun to see the home that was perfect for us as a newly married couple become the first home for our wonderful little family. We've already painted and organized our guest room and next we are moving into our hall and clearing out what is to be the nursery, a.k.a. our junk room/office. YIKES! So, I'll be spending this weekend going through things I have long forgotten existed and the beginnings of preparing little girl's room her arrival!!

Who knew organizing, cleaning, sorting, etc. could be so much fun?!? ;)

Baby Bou is a ....

Wow, what a whirlwind of a day yesterday was!! Waiting for the appointment was absolute torture, but I had no idea how stressful it would be once we actually got there. It was a big day and we were mostly just two curious parents waiting to find out whether it was a little boy or girl that was changing our lives forever... but they were also checking the baby's development and all of our little one's organs, including kidneys, brain, heart, and the markers for downs syndrome. So needless to say, it was a bit stressful.

They took us in pretty quickly, thank goodness, because I think Brad and I were both about to just bust with excitement!! The u/s tech met us in the room and we got all set up. And there our little baby was, gosh Baby Bou looked so big since our 9w u/s and the baby looked perfect and it was so wonderful to see our precious little gift again.

The first thing the tech asked us was whether we wanted to find out the gender of our cutie pie and of course we both exclaimed that we absolutely did! So, she moved the wand around my belly, got in position, and said, "Well, it looks like it's a GIRL!"

I think the room went silent and Brad and I both just stared at the screen... we are both so very excited and just can't wait to see what great things this little girl will bring us! Thankfully, we did not wait to find out because right after that, she decided to cross her little legs and sit on her hands, just like a proper little lady should! :)

After that we started the rest of the scan and the tech showed us all of her little organs, of course without really letting us know whether they looked good or bad, which was the stressful part... but we enjoyed just watching our precious girl move around. The doctor then came in and checked everything for himself and said from what he can see, she looks good and there is nothing from the ultrasound to worry about and he couldn't see any of the typical markers for Downs Syndrome, but he does want us to come back in 3 weeks from now to get another view of her heart, since she wasn't cooperating to his liking and didn't get all the views he wanted, but from what he could see, all was well! From here on out we will get an ultrasound every 4 weeks to make sure all continues to go well... I am so spoiled ;)

So, that's our news!! Great ultrasound, great day, and we have a wonderful baby girl on the way! Brad has his first date speech already prepared for that first little boy who shows up to our house, and has already contemplated what age is appropriate to start dating... Haha!! Brad is going to be an amazing Daddy :)

So, here she is:

Happy D-Blog Day! All of my fears are shattered...

I have never felt less like a person with diabetes in my life. I feel like all my dreams are coming true, and that diabetes really has not hindered me in any way whatsoever. All those fears I had, and still have, that I could never be "normal", never accomplish my dreams, never find someone to love me, or the fear that I would never become a Mom... all those fears are shattered, they are gone like the dreams they were supposed to deny me of.

I cannot believe I am here today and I am healthy, so happy, married to a wonderful man, and expecting a precious child. I don't know what is to come and I know that complications and additional struggles will likely come my way, but that's okay. Everyone has struggles, they are just different for each person.

Sure, I am on cloud nine right now because in oh, about 24 hours I have my next ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby, so I'm pumped! And I still know that the anatomy scan may show things that I am not prepared for, but I've done a good job controlling my blood sugars as much as I can... I hope. But for this minute in time, I just want to get lost in the feeling of being a totally normal woman who is expecting a totally normal and healthy child and whose life is about to totally change as we find out whether we are welcoming a son or daughter into this world... a world where anyone's dreams can come true, no matter who tries to quash them with fears of the unknown...

Diabetes has not killed me, it has only made me stronger, and I am such a true believer in that!!

Happy D-Blog Day 2009!!